2025.2.3
Outside, the fine rain drizzles, the streets are empty, and only a few lonely umbrellas move slowly. The news on my phone screen shows the plummeting of Ethereum, and my account balance is down to three digits. The desolation outside intertwines with my own downfall.
I am unwilling to accept this; why have I failed so miserably?
From a small-town exam-taker to being admitted to Wuhan University, and then to graduate school at the University of Hong Kong, I have clearly worked hard every step of the way. Yet now, I find myself with nothing left.
Last year, I quit my job and dove into the world of cryptocurrency with 200,000 yuan I had saved over a year and a half. At first, everything seemed so wonderful. I watched the market every day, researched projects, and analyzed trends, feeling much freer than at work, after all, I was working for myself. During that time, I made some money and met a group of friends with whom I shared opportunities.
From the beginning of the year to the end, my performance was quite good, accumulating over 1 million yuan in profit, but I never withdrew any. Until December, when I felt a bit out of sync with the market, and judging that the market would experience a surge in altcoins, I decided to buy the dip on BOME. I fantasized about replicating last year's PEPE miracle, buying from 0.008 all the way down to 0.003, but the crash this morning wiped me out. In fact, my leverage wasn't even high, less than 3 times.
I bet all my chips, yet still lost.
The most ironic part is that I went home and had my parents buy in at my bottom, starting from 0.004 for $bome, averaging down to 0.003, and as of today, it has almost halved. It's one thing for me to lose money, but to drag my parents down with me is truly shameful, sigh.
This New Year has been like sitting on pins and needles; every day I open the exchange to see my account drop, and when I mention my job to relatives and friends, I feel utterly lacking in confidence. I am clearly exhausted every day, yet I haven't made any money, living a bitter life, and receiving ridicule from relatives about "reading so many books yet still not having a stable job."
I am really curious, who can still make money on exchanges? Coins that have dropped five times can continue to drop four times, and they drop 4-5 times as soon as they go online? In such a situation, can anyone really come in and make money?
My feelings are really complicated right now; I am unwilling yet confused and at a loss. I feel like I have tried my best, but the results are always contrary to my wishes. Those goals that once made my blood boil now seem like paper soaked in rain, blurred and unclear in direction. I don't know where to go next, nor do I know if I can stand up again.
from - @哪吒 Sigma Hunter
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